While most people appreciate others who communicate directly, many of us find it difficult to actually do ourselves. Information is exchanged efficiently, there are fewer misinterpretations and most comments are honest, so why is it that we feel uncomfortable speaking directly with others? This is especially important at work when we depend on others to perform our duties, and they rely on us, too. It’s highly beneficial to adopt this communication style regardless of position or line of work – it’s essential to living! In this article, we’ll discuss some simple tips for being direct in the workplace, without being a jerk.
What Is Direct Communication?
Direct communication is when a person communicates their thoughts, ideas or opinions clearly and in few words, which leaves little room for misinterpretation.
There are a few forms of indirect communication to be aware of. The first form is when the person communicating the message gives their statement eventually, but with too many unneeded words. Another form of indirect communication is when the statement is never clearly communicated at all, leaving the listener to “read between the lines”.
Either way, there are more disadvantages than advantages when talking about indirect communication. In the workplace, it can be a root cause of many other issues, like partners misunderstanding you or people missing more subtle cues.
Why Do I Have Trouble Being Direct?
Everyone’s a little different, but here are a few common reasons why people feel uncomfortable communicating directly:
- Afraid of offending or causing tension between them and others
- Anticipating a negative reaction
- Uncomfortable being an authority
- Thinking they’ll be seen as ‘a jerk’
Luckily, it’s easy to develop a direct style of communication, especially when tackled one step at a time…
10 Simple Tips For Being Direct In The Workplace, Without Being A Jerk
Without further ado, here are our 10 simple times for being direct in the workplace, while maintaining tact, relationships and positivity:
- Know The ‘Power Words’ – No, Won’t, Can’t…
- Cut Out Fluff Words
- Choose Words Carefully
- Speak From Your Heart (Inner Truth)
- Look People In The Eye
- Treat Emails Like Tweets
- Stand Up Straight & Tall
- Visualize How We’d Hear Ourselves
- Be Comfortable In The Silence
- Maintain Tact On Sensitive Topics
We’ll discuss a little more about each of these below.
1. Know The ‘Power Words’ – No, Won’t, Can’t…
Direct communication doesn’t include fluff or unneeded words. Instead, it relies on “power words”.
The most powerful word in any language is the word “no”. Think of how often you hear it? How often do you use it yourself? While one of the shortest words in the English language, no carries a heavy impact. If you disagree on a statement or just want to be blunt, ‘no’ is the perfect word to use.
A few other common power words are essentially derivatives of ‘no’, such as can’t, won’t, don’t, didn’t, etc.
2. Speaking In Present Tense
Another means of communicating directly is to speak in present tense, rather than past tense.
Here’s an example of someone speaking in past tense:
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to put all of these envelopes in the mail?”
Now, let’s state the same thing again, but in present tense:
“I don’t know if you want me to put all of these envelopes in the mail?”
That’s technically present-tense, but a bit of a run on. Here’s an even better, more direct way:
“Do you want me to put these envelopes in the mail?“
That’s direct.
3. Choose Words Carefully
Imagine being limited to speaking only 20 words before your voice automatically shuts off – you can’t speak any more words until others respond.
What are the words you’d use to get your point across?
This is actually a somewhat fun way to tackle this problem. Simply choose how many words you’re “limited” to in a conversation, and try to keep each statement under that amount of words.
It forces us to think of ways we can communicate directly. Communicating in as few words as possible – while maintaining some social tact – is an essential part of being direct in the workplace.
4. Speak From Your Heart (Inner Truth)
When someone gives you their opinion or answers a question, you want them to be honest, right? In order to do so, one must be direct.
When you respond to someone in an indirect manner, it’s done in an effort to preserve some level of goodness or easiness to the interaction; to avoid tension. When this outranks the truth in priority, we’re essentially lying by not being direct.
If you are honest about your opinion or thoughts, while also having good intentions, you’re seen as powerful, empathetic and honest. These are all good things to be, including at the workplace.
5. Look People In The Eye
They say the eyes are the windows to our souls. I think there’s some truth to that.
We’re highly evolved creatures with an unbelievable ability to pick up on subtleties – this was at first for survival reasons and still is to a point. We are able to detect ingenuity and many other feelings just by looking at the person’s eyes when they speak.
If someone maintains a reasonable amount of eye contact as they speak, they seem more trustworthy and authentic. A lack of eye contact can come across as hiding something or discomfort.
Here’s a free lesson on YouTube for practicing eye contact.
Related Articles:
- Managing Egos At Work: How To Decipher The Hidden Messages
- Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important In Project Management?
- How To Stop Being Too Nice At Work: 12 Simple, Quick Techniques
- Is My Boss Manipulating Me? Here Are 12 Signs Of A Manipulative Boss
6. Treat Emails Like Tweets
While tweets have gotten a bit longer is recent years, they’re still known for having a limited number of characters. There’s little room to waste.
I’ve been caught in the habit of writing novel-like emails. I at first thought it was a good thing; that there’s nothing left out. I then realized how much I didn’t like to receive that same type of email myself. It’s detailed, yes, but it requires the reader to put a lot of time and effort into just reading the whole thing and understanding it, let alone responding.
Just for your reference, this short paragraph contains exactly 280 characters, which is presently the maximum allowable length of one tweet. Keeping emails this short will save lots of time and effort, as well as reduce the chance of confusion or misinterpretation by the reader.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but the lengthy email at work should be rare.
7. Stand Up Straight & Tall
Ever notice how everyone turns their head when certain people enter the room? This can be because of title or authority, but could also be the result of confident body language.
Good body language will include standing up tall, with shoulders back, eyes up, chest out and controlled movements.
Prof. Albert Mehrabian is famous for stating that 93% of communication is non-verbal, and 55% of communication is through body language. With this in mind, a lot of direct communication has nothing to do with speaking at all.
8. Visualize How We’d Hear Ourselves
Do you feel uncomfortable when being direct in the workplace? One useful exercise is to visualize how we’d feel hearing the exact same thing we’re going to say from someone else.
Most likely, we won’t think anything of it. “They’re just communicating clearly, what’s the big deal?”. Yet when we do the same thing, we’re afraid of hurting, offending or creating discomfort in others.
If we’re fine with it being said, why would other people not be OK with us saying it? Even in the rare, unlikely event that someone is offended, most people are forgiving if you’re apologetic about it.
9. Be Comfortable In The Silence
More often than not, we can sabotage ourselves while communicating by saying too much. We would be better off sitting in silence than saying the wrong thing.
Whether it be too many words, speaking indirectly, being overly sensitive or just not speaking clearly, it’s often done to fill silence.
Instead, try stating your thoughts clearly and then be silent. If the other person is being quiet, that’s fine – they have the right to be.
Speaking directly and then falling silent has an air of “I said what I need to, now let the chips fall where they may” to it.
Learning to be comfortable in silence is powerful and an under-rated method for being more direct in the workplace.
10. Maintain Tact On Sensitive Topics
Last but not least, it’s important to know when NOT to be blunt, too.
There’s no perfect rule, but when a conversation includes one of the following, it’s a good idea to soften the bluntness:
- Vulnerability
- Insecurity
- Religion / Faith
- Personal Matters
- Others’ Relatives/Partner/Close Circle
As said a few times, there’s always exceptions to every rule. Some situations just don’t require bluntness.
In Summary
Speaking directly is easy – for most people, it’s more about getting out of our own way, rather than learning what to do. By practicing each of the steps outlined above one at a time, you’ll be communicating directly, clearly and efficiently in no time. I hope you enjoyed this article and thanks for reading.
