Do you ever feel betrayed by your boss? Does it seem like the two of you are always at odds, or that you simply can’t trust them? Unfortunately, this is something many of us can relate to. While we hope to have positive, productive relationships with our bosses, it’s certainly not a guarantee. Many of us feel like our bosses are only out for themselves – or even worse, working against us. In the land of the modern workplace and corporate culture, it can feel like work is just as much about office politics, individual advancement and covering our butts as it is about actually doing our jobs, and our bosses are no more exempt from this than we are. While our relationships with our bosses may feel worse in our minds than they really are, we may also notice certain patterns of behavior in them over time. Whether it be that our boss rarely offers us support, disagrees with us in front of others, throws us ‘under the bus’ or just plain doesn’t like us, we eventually reach the point where we think “My boss doesn’t have my back! What should I do?”. As someone who’s definitely been there, I’m happy to share with you the techniques I’ve used to mitigate this situation with success. Let’s get into them.
‘Boss Doesn’t Have My Back’: What This Means…
To provide a bit of context, let’s fully define what it means for our bosses to not ‘have our backs’. Here are a few common situations:
- Denial: Whether they’re denying a conversation that’s taken place or their knowledge of certain information, bosses who don’t have our backs will deny whatever they can to keep themselves in good standing.
- Absence: When the going gets tough, your boss is nowhere to be found.
- Blame: If a mistake happens or something doesn’t get done on time, the boss points at you no matter what.
- Working Against You: Whether it’s in a team meeting, in emails, during performance reviews or even in front of clients, a boss that doesn’t have your back will often take an opposing viewpoint to your own or react negatively towards you in front of others.
- Doesn’t Care About You: When it comes to giving you credit for your work or discussing your performance with superiors, these types of bosses won’t put in a good word for you. In other words, your actual performance will not be in line with what your boss is willing to acknowledge to others.
Now that we’ve identified what it means for our boss to not have our back, let’s get into the ways we can overcome this and prevent their ways from affecting us at work.
1. Maintain Excellent Written Records
Our boss will have a difficult time denying their involvement or awareness of information when there’s a clear paper trail saying otherwise.
When it comes to important conversations you have with your boss, I highly recommend following them up with an email summary that outlines exactly what was discussed, who’s responsible for what and the path going forwards.
As far as meetings are concerned, I feel it’s essential to issue the attendees an agenda beforehand and meeting minutes afterwards. This ensures that everyone is working with the same information and that your boss can’t deny something later.
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2. Keep Your Boss Updated
My old boss had a habit of never ‘being in the room’ when it mattered. If an important client meeting was to take place, he’d find an excuse not to be there. Later on, he’d Monday-morning-quarterback us about what we should’ve done instead. The same can be said about team meetings and the like.
Does your boss pull this stunt? If you’re like me, it probably drives you insane. It’s almost as if they’re ostriches – sticking their head in the sand and thinking the problems will just go away if they don’t face them. Alas, we know better!
I recommend making it a habit to update your boss whenever possible. This can be done through meetings and conversations as we discussed in section 1, but it can also be accomplished by sending them regular email updates as work takes place. Verbal conversations are fine, but it’s best to document important information in an email. I also recommend copying them on any email you send to someone else that involves important discussion or inquiry.
Read Next: Email Etiquette In The Workplace: 10 Email Sins To Avoid At All Costs!
3. Take Ownership, But Don’t Be A Doormat
Like it or not, a boss that doesn’t have our back is still our boss. They technically have a right to point blame at us when we make a mistake, and we should also take ownership of that mistake ourselves too. At the end of the day, we’d all be a lot better off if everyone held themselves accountable in the same fashion that they expect out of others.
That said, we shouldn’t behave like doormats either. If our boss is wrong or something is truly not our fault, we should say so. After all, our boss expects us to take the blame when warranted, so it must go both ways. If they choose to not acknowledge their own wrongdoing despite obvious evidence to the contrary, you at least can see exactly the type of person you’re dealing with.
This doesn’t mean we point back at our boss, dress them down and yell “Ha! Gotcha!” (tempting as it may be), but I personally feel that there’s nothing wrong with calmly and clearly putting the onus where it belongs – even if it’s on our boss.
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4. Maintain Positive Relationships With Others
Having allies is important, both in our personal and professional lives alike. Humans have been relying on allies – like our community, neighbors, friends and family – since the dawn of time. Having people around us that we can trust keeps us safe, even if ‘safety’ merely refers to our reputation in the workplace.
When our boss tries to make us look bad in front of coworkers or clients, it comes down to their word vs ours. In fact, by sheer virtue of them being ‘the boss’, other people will likely take the boss’ side over ours by default, all other things being equal.
This doesn’t happen as much when we’ve got a strong network of relationships that’ll help support us and uphold our reputation. The more positive relationships we have with coworkers, clients and colleagues (lots of c’s there), the less ability our boss has to influence others’ opinion of us. We have to make sure we earn it though, and it goes both ways – we must be trustworthy and dependable for our colleagues in return!
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5. Get ‘In’ With Upper Management
This last tip only applies when our boss is not THE boss, like an owner of the company. Assuming that your boss is ‘middle management’ and not C-level or an owner, it’s absolutely essential that you form your own relationship with upper management whenever possible.
Said another way, your boss’ bosses must see you favorably.
Bosses who don’t have our backs will often rely on keeping us in the dark, which means their own bosses aren’t always aware of our performance or workload. When we have little-to-no relationship with upper management, our bosses know that their word can’t be challenged. If they say something negative about us, upper management may not have any other information to go by.
By forming a relationship with upper management, we begin to gain some footing in the metaphorical battle. The next time our boss decides to speak negatively about our character or performance, a higher-level manager may stop and think twice before simply taking our boss’ word.
I recommend doing this by introducing yourself to them the first opportunity you get. Additionally, I recommend asking important questions, sharing ideas or making suggestions to upper management whenever possible – especially in a group setting. Lastly, I personally believe that by doing a great job and continuing to improve, upper management will eventually notice – that said, it never hurts to make them aware on your own. Any edge you can get helps!
Read Next: What Qualities To Look For In A Boss? The Things My Favorite Boss Did
In Summary
Working for a boss that doesn’t have your back will never be enjoyable or easy, but it might not need to be. By following these steps, you’re essentially removing any and all avenues that your boss could ever use to affect your reputation. I hope this helps! Thanks for reading.
