Trust is a vital aspect of any relationship. This applies to our family, friends, romantic partners and coworkers alike. Just like our family and romantic partners, we must see our coworkers for an extended amount of time every day. In most instances, we spend more waking hours with our coworkers while working full-time than we spend with our families – that’s a lot of time at work! When we have great coworkers who we can trust, this doesn’t feel nearly as harsh as it sounds. What happens when we just can’t trust coworkers? It could be something they’ve done, rumors we hear or just our gut feeling – regardless, a situation like this puts a tremendous strain on our work life. In this article, we’re talking about how to deal with a coworker you don’t trust!
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Signs We Can’t Trust A Coworker Or Manager
If your gut tells you not to trust someone, it’s most likely right. Don’t take my word for it – trust science instead! To provide some concrete examples, check out the points below. Do any of these sound familiar?
- You catch a coworker blatantly lie. No duh, right? Unless there’s a really good explanation for why they lied, this is the most obvious sign you cannot trust them.
- You confide in your coworker, only for them to share your story with others. In this instance, they’re more interested in gossip than your friendship.
- They don’t keep promises. Whether it’s for something small or large, a coworker that breaks promises cannot be trusted.
- They love drama. It’s tough to trust someone who wants to gossip all the time. If they talk about others to you, they’ll talk about you to others.
- Your coworker has a manipulative personality. If you observe your coworker trying to trick or manipulate others, it’s best to not trust them.
We could go on an on, but this list covers the basics. Now let’s discuss how to deal with a coworker you don’t trust!
How To Deal With A Coworker You Don’t Trust: The Do’s & Don’ts
Now that we’ve defined a few indicators of an untrustworthy coworker, let’s talk about what you can do about it going forwards! Here’s a summary list:
- DO Keep It Professional With Your Coworker
- DON’T Reveal Personal Information To Any Coworker You Don’t Trust
- DO Set Specific Deadlines, Expectations & Goal For Work
- DON’T Let Little Things Slide When A Coworker You Don’t Trust Acts Up – Take Action!
- DO Keep Excellent Records & Document Bad Behavior
- DON’T React Emotionally To The Untrustworthy Coworker
Let’s go through each in a bit more detail.
DO: Keep It Professional
While we may harbor contempt for our coworker, it doesn’t mean we need to make it personal at work.
Instead, we should focus on actually working with our coworker – the same way we would if another person was in their position.
Communicating with hostility will not only make your personal working relationship worse, but it may affect the quality of your work as a whole.
Read Next: Is My Boss Manipulating Me? Here Are 12 Signs Of A Manipulative Boss
DON’T: Reveal Personal Details
When we say keep it professional while dealing with untrustworthy coworkers, we mean strictly professional.
If you have even an inkling of doubt as to whether or not you can trust that coworker, don’t reveal any personal information.
This includes keeping your opinions to yourself about other coworkers, as well as not revealing anything ‘incriminating’ about yourself.
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DO: Set Specific Deadlines, Goals & Expectations
When thinking about how to deal with a coworker you don’t trust, it’s important to consider whether this person can even do their job effectively.
Are they unreliable? Do they always make excuses? Are they quick to point the finger?
If the answer is “yes” to any of the above, it’s time to get very specific about what work needs to be done, how it needs to be done and when it must be completed.
The earlier and clearer these expectations are defined (in writing!), the less room this untrustworthy coworker has to wiggle, shift blame or get out of their responsibility. This goes for any type of project at work or tasks you need to collaborate on.
Read Next: Being Direct In The Workplace, Without Being A Jerk: 10 Simple Steps
DON’T: Let Things Slide For Too Long – Take Action
Actions have consequences. In terms of physics, EVERY reaction has an equal and opposite reaction. This applies to work life too. Sometimes, we need to be that equal and opposite reaction.
When a coworker breaks our trust, betrays us or commits some other transgression, we must nip it in the bud in that moment. I’d recommend speaking to management about it. Don’t worry about doing it behind their back – instead, call them out for what they’ve done and let them know you’ll be reporting it. Documenting it is not a bad idea if you feel it necessary. Obviously, this all applies to a major issue this person has caused, not something small.
Read Next: How To Stop Being Too Nice At Work: 12 Simple, Quick Techniques
DO: Keep Excellent Records
Speaking of documentation, it’s important to document as much of your day to day work as possible. How is this done? Some examples include keeping a to do list and distributing it to managers occasionally, summarizing meetings with minutes and following up conversations with an email are a few examples of ways you can document a fair portion of your day to day work experience in a functional way.
In terms of dealing with a coworker you don’t trust, you’ll have peace of mind that the actual work taking place is well documented. There will be a lot less room for them to manipulate or sneak around when operating this way.
Read Next: 10 Email Sins At Work To Avoid At All Costs! Do These Sound Familiar?
PROMOTED
DON’T: React To Them Emotionally
Highly manipulate people use emotions to steer things in the direction they want. This applies to feigning their own emotions as well as preying on others’.
When figuring out how to deal with a coworker you don’t trust, it’s necessary to realize just how subtle some of these indicators can be. A single comment to you may seem harmless to bystanders, but has just a hint of passive aggressiveness to it that only you can detect. You may find this coworker agreeing with you on many things, but act in an opposing manner when around others.
There’s an infinite number of examples we can come up with, but here are just a few more common ones:
- Fishing for sympathy to divert accountability after doing something wrong.
- Trying to stifle your happiness with negativity
- Acting hypocritically by not reciprocating favors, going against their word, etc.
The best thing to do? Stay right in neutral – totally indifferent. Their efforts won’t work and you won’t give them the satisfaction of responding.
Read Next: What Are The Signs Of A Toxic Work Environment? Our Top 10
How To Deal With A Coworker You Don’t Trust: In Summary
Dealing with an untrustworthy coworker will never be easy, no matter how much we learn. By following the tips discussed above and watching for subtle signs, you’ll be one step ahead of those less trustworthy and will stay on the right side of most situations. I hope this has been helpful, thanks a lot for reading!
