Are you getting bullied at work? Do you feel like people take advantage of your good nature or friendliness? Do you find yourself doing extra work or being treated differently than your coworkers? You may be experiencing a form of workplace bullying. Luckily, there are tactics you can start using today to stop being bullied at work, and prevent workplace bullying in the future! Let’s dive in.
Why Do I Get Bullied At Work?
People experience bullying at work for a variety of reasons. Here are some of the more common reasons people get bullied at work:
- A person is shy or insecure and will not stand up for themselves.
- A person is ‘too nice’, which caused them to get taken advantage of.
- A person is a pacifist who doesn’t want to ‘disturb the group’.
- A person has low self-esteem, which is visibly obvious via body language and behavioral tendencies.
- A coworker or boss may have mental issues or bad intentions.
- An individual coworker or boss may just not like you for their own reasons.
In this article, we will focus more on preventing getting bullied, rather than why bullies act the way they do. Check out this article for information on why people become bullies.
What Does Workplace Bullying Look Like?
Workplace bulling can come in many forms, both direct and indirect. Coworkers as well as bosses can be bullies, as well as victims of bullying. Here are a few common signs of bullying at work to be aware of:
- Being openly belittled, mocked or made fun of in front of other coworkers.
- Rumors being spread about you, or you being discussed in a negative manner behind your back.
- Sensing that you’re being manipulated by your boss.
- Getting passed over for a well-deserved promotion, raise or title.
- Experiencing different treatment than your coworkers in terms of resources, guidance, assignments, responsibilities or performance.
- Being left out of meetings, discussions or tasks.
We Are Not Mental Health Professionals! Please Consider Taking The Following Steps:
- Contact Your Human Resources Department
- Contact Someone At WorkplaceBullying.org
- Reach Out To Your Local Mental Health Professionals
10 Essential Tactics To Prevent Workplace Bullying:
If you feel like you’re experiencing bullying at work, first understand this: you are more powerful and capable than you may feel, and you can start making changes TODAY that are easy, simple and measured that will prevent being bullied at work in the future. Let’s get into them!
1. Keep Bullies Away Using Body Language
Bullies prey on those weaker than themselves, or at least those they perceive to be. As you’ve probably heard, the majority of communication is nonverbal. This is why positive, confident body language is extremely important at work.
You may be inviting bullies to see you as their next victim…without even knowing it.
Here are a few tips for improving your body language in the workplace:
- Hold you head up and avoid looking downward.
- Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
- Don’t be afraid to take up space (within reason).
- Maintain eye contact. This doesn’t mean stare, either. Here’s a great guide on maintaining eye contact.
2. Know Your Rights At Work
Direct bullying is very easy to spot – unfair criticism, being mocked, negative rumor-spreading, etc. However, a large portion of people get bullied indirectly at work – this can include being given too much work, being prevented from advancing or being directed to perform work outside of your job description.
This is why all workers and employees need to know their rights at work. Stop workplace bullying in its’ tracks with the following knowledge:
- Keep a copy of your company’s policy – note the sections relating to workplace harassment, working hours and general duties.
- Keep your job description handy. This will probably list working hours and chain of command in addition to your actual work responsibilities.
- Refer to the Employee Rights sections of the U.S. Dept. Of Labor policies.
3. Be Slightly More Direct With People
Many people are used to speaking in indirect ways. This method of speaking can become a habit and is probably not noticed. Often, the ‘nice guys/girls’ among us feel as though by being direct, we’re being mean or demanding. This is misleading.
Here are a few ways you can be more direct at work, while still being polite and positive:
- Observe your “umms”, “uhhs” and “like”s. These are unnecessary words that communicate hesitation and indecisiveness.
- Don’t be afraid of silence. People who are too nice feel the need to fill any silence with speaking. Get used to remaining silent after speaking.
- Proofread your emails and remove all things unnecessary. The easiest way to do this is to write an email as you normally would, then review it for filler words.
- Take your opinion out of a statement, and add it later if necessary. Rather than saying “I feel like this isn’t part of my job”, say “This isn’t part of my job.” Assuming you are correct, you can just state the facts.
4. Document Workplace Experiences
Unfortunately, the age-old lawyer trop is true: “It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove!”.
This is also true for workplace bullying. The easy part of documenting negative workplace experiences is to observe what’s already being written. Do you have emails, memos or meeting minutes that support your claim?
Additionally, here are a few ways you can document bullying at work:
- Make sure specific assignments are recorded in meeting minutes. This is proof that you’re being directed to perform work that may not be in your job description.
- If someone directly makes fun out you, mocks you or anything similar, do not wait. Write an email with as many specific details as possible and send it to your HR department and copy your boss on the email, whether your boss is bullying or a coworker is.
- If you are being treated unfairly, write an email to your boss and then go speak to them. While this may be seen as disingenuous or sly, a manipulative boss may try to convince you of misunderstanding the situation, being wrong or try to blame you, which leads us to…
5. Know The Signs Of Being Manipulated
Your boss or a coworker may a manipulator. Manipulative bosses employ many dirty tricks and techniques to not only get what they want, but to control others and even make themselves the victim!
We’ve written an extensive guide on dealing with a manipulative boss. Check it out here: “Is My Boss Manipulating Me? Here Are 12 Signs Of A Manipulative Boss“.
6. Treat People Well And Look For The Same Treatment From Others
Do you like to go out of your way to help coworkers? Do you have a team mentality, or pride yourself on being a ‘team player’? Perhaps being dependable and consistent are cornerstone principals of yours. These are great signs! But this approach may invite bullying at work, or at least invite others to take advantage of you good nature.
Before going too far out of the way for your boss or coworkers, consider the following:
- Do your coworkers delegate or expect you to take on extra responsibilities for no particular reason?
- If so, are they leaving on time and carrying less work, while you stay late and burn yourself out?
- Do you have ‘fair-weather’ coworkers? That is, they’re friends with you when everything is running smooth, but blame you or leave you hanging when an issue arises?
- Do you ‘take one for the team’ and help out a coworker/boss in need, or find yourself doing favors for others? That’s OK in moderation, but consider this: do the same coworkers or bosses ever give you any relief? Do they do you favors? Ask them sometime and watch how they respond.
- Understand that you should not feel the need to do anyone favors at work in the following circumstances: you are overworked, you have a deadline, it’s outside of your qualification/skill level, you’re dealing with personal/health issues or you’ve already seen the boss/coworker take advantage of you in the past.
Be careful in this approach, though. The above points assume you are genuinely being helpful at work, and not doing so with the expectations on favors in return. This is called a covert contract, which is considered sneaky.
7. Think Like A Buyer, Not A Seller
This one is specifically for those with low self-esteem.
People with self-esteem often think of themselves as being worth less than others, of being wrong by default or that they need to satisfy the demands or expectations of others in order to have value.
Here’s an easy way to begin shifting your thinking in the form of a metaphor: think like a buyer, not like a seller. Below are a few examples:
- “I hope this company and I are a good fit?”, rather than “I hope they think I’m good enough for the position?”.
- “Is our team working well together?“, rather than “Do my team mates like me?”
- “How much do people with my skill level typically get paid?“, rather than “I want a raise, but I’m not sure if I deserve it.“
8. Know Your Worth – Be Paid For What You Do
In the past, there was little transparency in the job market. Employees did not have access to information like market-rate salaries, comparing salaries and benefits between companies and job resources such as LinkedIn.
Luckily, we have these resources in 2019. It’s easier than ever to know your worth as an employee. Here are a few ways to make sure you’re paid and compensated fairly:
- Use salary comparison tools like Glassdoor or Salary.com to see what similar workers are being paid.
- Bring this salary information with you to negotiate a raise or promotion.
- If you’re paid a salary, track how many hours you work and on which specific tasks. This is a clear record of your actual performance and the time your job requires. Refer to this during negotiations for salary, too.
9. Speak Your Mind Openly
For those of us who just want peace, this one is difficult.
Highly agreeable people will keep things to themselves, not speak their minds or say what they think others want to hear to maintain harmony within a group. This is generally not healthy behavior, since it can result in the ‘peace keeper’s’ well-being getting neglected. Being this way can be disingenuous (not truthful) or even harmful (withholding constructive criticism or helpful advice).
This is why many agreeable people are victims of bullying. However, speaking your mind is an easy way to start standing up for yourself at work. Check out a few examples:
- Give your honest opinion when asked.
- Point out when someone has unfair expectations or requests.
- Ask questions back when someone is overly questioning or criticizing you. This allows you to steer the narrative.
- Start saying “no” when need be.
- Recognize the value of your unique personal experiences.
- Realize that by speaking your mind, you’re often helping more than hurting.
10. Be Willing To Walk Away
Have you tried improving your body language, reviewed your rights at work, become more direct and honest, taken stock of your self-worth, shifted your frame of thinking, documented examples of injustices/bad behavior and STILL find yourself being bullied at work?
The last step in learning how to not get bullied at work is this: knowing when it’s time to walk away.
It’s hard to know this exact point. My instinct says that if you’ve tried to improve in at least three of the ways above and see nothing changing, it’s probably a good time to go. Here are some next steps:
- Stick to doing your work and your work only.
- Prioritize your own schedule and well-being. Continue to say ‘no’ when asked to do extra work.
- Freshen up your resume and begin applying to jobs.
- When applying for jobs, know your worth!
- Identify any job references internally and keep on good terms with these coworkers (you probably already are).
- Be polite, but distant at work. Do not act in a passive-aggressive or moody manner.
- When giving your notice to your boss, or when conducting an exit interview – be honest about why you’re leaving. It will help you leave on ‘pure’ terms and may even result in your company giving you a better offer.
- Consider this quote: “The person more willing to walk away is the winner”!
In Conclusion
I hope this article as been helpful. Workplace bullying is no fun, but all too common. If you came here wanting to know how to not get bullied at work, you’re now armed with ten easy, simple methods to stop your workplace bullying in its’ tracks, and prevent being bullied in the future!
