Most of us have worked for a bad boss at some point. Whether they’re mean, incompetent, selfish or manipulative, bad bosses all have one thing in common – the ability to drive their subordinates nuts. The vast majority of people just want to come to work, have a decent day and head home when it’s over. Unfortunately, the ‘vast majority’ still doesn’t mean everyone. Some people can’t help but to get involved in drama or negativity at work – even if they must start it themselves. Other people don’t crave drama per se, but their personality and mindset effects others anyways. That brings us to our main topic: dealing with a two-faced boss. Let’s talk about how they act and how to ‘survive’ working for one.
How Does A Two-Faced Boss Act?
Based on my experience with a bad boss, here are a few examples of how a two-faced boss may act and the types of things they’ll do:
- Fake Nice: A two-faced boss will act one way to your face, but completely differently when you’re not around. They’ll likely be doing the same to your coworkers, too.
- Lying: A two-faced boss won’t hesitate to go back on their word or deny a previous agreement, conversation, etc.
- Gossip: A boss who gossips can’t be trusted, just like how anyone who gossips can’t be trusted. At best, a gossiper with innocent intentions will let secrets slip, etc. In the case of a two-faced boss, they’ll likely use gossip for not-so-innocent reasons.
- Unpredictable: Does your boss act completely differently when angry, stressed or around certain people? Huge swings in behavior can indicate a two-face boss’ true nature.
These are just a few examples. If you’ve landed on this article, you’ve probably got a pretty good idea of what a two-faced boss acts like already. Let’s now talk about how to deal with them.
Working With A Two-Faced Boss: What To Do (Or Avoid Doing)
In the following sections, we’ll go over a few basic tips for working with a two-faced boss – both in terms of what to do and what to avoid doing!
Do Try To Maintain A Decent – But Distant – Relationship
Even if we know our boss’ true nature, it’s still not a bad idea to maintain a reasonably good relationship with them. After all, employees face an uphill battle against their two-faced bosses – they have the ability to inflict more damage on us (i.e. via workload, raises, credibility) than we can to them.
I recommend keeping a ‘neutral’ relationship with your two-faced boss whenever possible. This keeps you off their radar and trustworthy in their eyes.
In terms of keeping them at arms’ length, I recommend keeping your focus on work and behaving strictly professionally around them. Just as we don’t want to be on bad terms with our bad boss, we also don’t want to become their friend either. We know how they really are, after all.
Don’t Take Your Boss’ Words Or Actions At Face Value
When getting praised or treated nicely by your two-faced boss, I recommend not taking it to heart. Compliments and positivity make us feel good; it feels wrong to dampen our own happiness. Unfortunately, a bad boss may dole out compliments for manipulative reasons rather than from a genuine place. Taking everything your boss says (and does) with a grain of salt will help you keep perspective – if they’ve displayed two-faced behavior before, they’ll do it again!
Have you seen your boss have positive interactions with coworkers only to talk poorly about them later? That’s likely what will happen to you, too. When our bosses change their tunes to suit whoever is or is not present, nothing they say or do should be taken as seriously as you would from a trustworthy, straightforward manager.
Do Develop Trust With Coworkers
A two-faced boss is likely to turn coworkers against one another if it suits them. Bosses like this will do what they can to create tension and distance between their subordinates in order to ‘rule over them’ more easily – after all, a divided group of people is easier to manipulate.
In cases like this, our best offense is a good defense. By having trusting relationship with our coworkers, we’ll much better be able to make our own judgements when we hear something about them that doesn’t seem true. We’ll also be able to stand our ground together in the event that our boss tries pulling any stunts.
Don’t Engage In Any Gossip With Your Boss
When it comes to a two-faced boss, the last thing we should ever do is participate in gossip with them.
Your boss will see you as someone they can talk to. While this may seem like a sign of trust, it’s not one that’ll bring you any benefit. Your boss will gossip with you more and more frequently, talking bad about others in your presence, which can only lead to you:
- Becoming guilty by association. Any other coworkers who see or hear this gossip taking place will assume that you’re just as guilty as your boss.
- Getting too close with your boss. You may even divulge personal information about yourself, your opinions, your work, etc., which will likely be used against you.
When the boss starts gossipin’, I recommend shifting back into that ‘neutral’ mindset!
Do Keep Clear Records When Possible
Whether it be through email or meeting minutes, I recommend thoroughly documenting as much as you can about the work your two-faced boss assigns, as well as what they say. A two-faced boss thrives on deception and grey area – thoroughly documenting work situations on a routine basis takes this power away.
Don’t Live In Fear: Stand Your Ground
After reading the prior sections, it may sound like we’re recommending that you kowtow to your two-faced boss rather than confront them. While there is a need to remain neutral, distant and professional, that does not equate to becoming a doormat. There are plenty of ways to be assertive and direct in the workplace without being a jerk – check out this link for an article we’ve written on that exact topic!
Two-Faced Boss: In Closing
Having a two-faced boss can be a drag, that’s for sure. They’ll never be fun or enjoyable to work with. When you know what signs to look for, you can at least see your boss for who they really are and act accordingly from there. The more proactive and knowledgeable you are, the less power your boss has in this regard. I hope this has been helpful, thanks for reading.
2 thoughts on “Surviving A Two-Faced Boss: A Few Tips From Experience”
I am truly thankful to you for sharing this article. This is everything that I am experiencing. I appreciate you taking the time to write on this platform.
Hello Allison,
Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this, but I’m glad you’ve found this article helpful! Thanks and all the best,
Patrick