We’re all individuals. We each have our own opinions, perspectives and life experiences. We’re also different people on a psychological and biological level, too. Each of us brings something unique to any particular situation, no matter how big or small it may be. Sounds like a fairy tale, right? In reality, some people just don’t get along at all – they mix like oil and water! Unfortunately, we can’t run away from people we don’t like…as much as we may try. This includes the workplace. If you want to get better at dealing with certain types of people at work, don’t miss this exploration of 5 different personalities we encounter at work and how to work with them!
Different Personalities: Work With These Five Types
Let’s get into the weeds on working with these five different personalities. Click below to jump ahead!
- Different Personality No. 1 – All Show, But No Go
- Different Personality No. 2 – The Expert
- Different Personality No. 3 – The Sky Is Falling
- Different Personality No. 4 – The Alpha “Type A”
- Different Personality No. 5 – Slide The Work Under The Door
“Team Work Makes The Dream Work”
We’ve all heard the saying, and we all cringe every time we do. Who even came up with these expressions? Regardless of how corny the expression is, it’s true. In project management, you’ll need to work with many different personalities: people you may not see eye-to-eye with, people you don’t care for, and even people you can’t stand! I’ve been there many times, and it gets easier. By easier, I mean your focus will remain centered around the overall results, and less on the individual actions happening around you. You can have all the skills in the world, but knowing how to approach and work with different personalities will make managing a project team a much easier process.
Dealing with different personalities can be difficult for a variety of reasons. Here are a few that come to mind:
- How someone appears to be, or how they ‘market’ themselves, can be different than the type of results they produce once the project is at full speed.
- People may think they know better than you. Whether that be on a specific topic or the overall project. Sometimes they’ll be right.
- Some people handle stress well, while others are constantly panicking over even small details. What’s an emergency to them may not actually be an emergency at all.
- Some people just want to be right, and they won’t be stopped easily. This may be out of ego, previous bad experiences or a combination. They’ll impose this attitude on other team members, maybe even you.
- Some people just want to show up, close their office door, do their work and go home. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it can lead to information being lost in translation, lack of communication, etc.
Without further ado, let’s take a look at 5 different personalities you’ll probably encounter in your project management journey, and how you can mitigate the quirks, keep your sanity and stay moving towards the end goal!
Personality #1: All Show, But No Go
This type of person knows what it takes to be good at what they do. Note that I didn’t say “they’re good”, but that they know what it takes. Their resume could be a dream sequence of skills, experiences, titles and accolades. They could have hundreds of LinkedIn connections. Have they ever had experience with “n-topic” before? “Of course.” Can you have “_____” done by tomorrow? “Absolutely”. They may be the first to tell you that they take their work seriously, they work well with many different personalities, that they’ll do whatever it takes, that they’ll take anything on you ask them to. The worst part? It sounds great! This is what you hear or see BEFORE anything is ever actually done, i.e. during hiring, at the start of the project, etc. They could be telling the truth, and you don’t want to doubt a perfectly competent person, right? Here are a few telltale signs to look for early on to determine if this person isn’t just selling themselves off as the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Characteristics Or Tendencies To Watch For:
- How often do they do what they say they’ll do? “This afternoon I’ll gather my notes and email them to everyone”. They don’t. They offered to do so on their own, unprompted, but didn’t. Why did they say they would then? Talk is cheap.
- How often do they make excuses? “I would have had ______ task already done, but so-and-so’s meeting took so long”. “If I didn’t have so many emails to respond to, I’d get to my actual work today”. “If so-and-so wasn’t messing everything up, we wouldn’t even be talking about this”. If-then scenarios are great for Excel (terrible joke) but not for getting work done.
- How much do they contribute other than saying ‘yes’ and other feel-good stuff? Saying yes is great and honorable…if you actually DO the things you’re saying yes to. Let’s be honest here. We all think we can multi-task better than we can. If you hear this person make promise after promise off-the-cuff about meeting deadlines or whatever, check out how well they’re managing their to do list.
Inside The Minds Of Different Personalities: Why Do They Act This Way?
Here are a few reasons that come to mind:
- Self-Esteem: They want to be seen as good; they care about being accepted by their peers and don’t want to let them or the company down. People with different personalities might not understand this person’s need to be accepted and recognized.
- Manipulation: They want to BS their way to the best position the fastest, and to earn the most salary, recognition etc. while knowing that they might not cut it when the chips are down. Therefore, it’s never their fault by default.
How To Work With This Type Of Person
The key to working with this type of person is……..regulation. Not micro-managing, but structuring what you need this person to do. You’ll need to make sure they do what they promise and be honest with you. Here’s how:
- Provide as much notice as possible. Schedule with this person ahead of time exactly what you need, when you’ll need it. Let them know to keep you updated as soon as something else comes up that could throw the goal off track. This takes excuses of other people out of the equation.
- Emails as a recap. Follow up a meeting or conversation with a summary of what you discussed and expect. This is something you can keep coming back to for clarity. Copy someone related to the task whenever possible.
- Don’t give them too much work (at first). If it is just a case of low self-esteem, this person’s tendencies could be coming from an innocent place. This will allow you to make sure they can get things done on time and correctly. That way you don’t get a hundred yes’s but no tasks actually done.
Personality #2: The Expert
The expert has a lot of value. Love them or hate them. So long as they’re truthful (unlike personality #1 above) about what they can do, you’ll get a quality performance out of this person. They could be a lifelong construction superintendent who has seen and done it all. This could be a professional engineer, or a design pundit, or a specialty fabricator. These people know their craft. But do they know it so well that they’ll do whatever they feel is best, rather than what you need?
Trouble starts when they refuse to ‘play ball’ with you. This can be done from a good place, too. “You don’t need to worry about that, trust me!”. “The way he/she wants this done makes no sense, the way I do it is better”. “At this other company, we never would’ve done ________ that way.” Sound familiar?
Characteristics Or Tendencies To Watch For:
- Deviation from plans. Say for example, a set of construction drawings call for pressure-treated lumber to be used in a certain detail. When you arrive at the job site, you find out that a different type of lumber is installed instead at the direction of the Superintendent. “We don’t need pressure-treated lumber there, that makes no sense!”, they say. “But the plans show it, and it’s in our contract to provide it”, you reply. “If they have an issue with it, just let them know that what we did was better”. Remember, as the P.M., explaining this to a client or Architect is YOUR responsibility. “My Super thought it was better” won’t go well.
- Direction that contradicts what your direction is. For example, a fabricator is shipping out a big order of whatever you ordered. You ask them ahead of packing it to package everything in a certain sequence to make your work easier. You send your contact at the fabricator’s office a sketch of what you need. When the material shows up, it’s not in the order you requested, but instead in an order that the fabricator says “will be easier” to unload & install. You need it packaged the way you asked for specific logistic purposes when you receive the material, and now you need to have workers sort through everything that was shipped, costing time and money. Hilarity ensues.
- Hung up on the details. Say you have a limited budget from a client to hire an engineer and design a shoring system to temporarily support a roof. You know a simple fix will do the trick. Your company hires an engineering consultant to design this system. You want to use some basic lumber to support the roof, and you let the engineer know that you want something as close to this as possible. They come back with an engineered sketch looking far more complex than what you expect. “Engineer so-and-so, this is much more work in the field than what we expected, what about the lumber we discussed?”, you say. “This is the same design we did for company ______ over at the fun-and-games project. The Owner was very happy with it.” they reply. “But will a lumber system like the one I mentioned work design-wise?”. “Well, yeah, we could make that work, but company _____ loved using this system…” You get the idea.
Inside The Minds Of Different Personalities: Why Do They Act This Way?
- Genuinely trying to help: they could just think that what they’re saying or doing is actually good for you and the project.
- Arrogance: they’ve been doing this for years! Whatever they want to do, they just know it’s the best.
- Not understanding the situation: they know what they’re proposing will work, and that’s what matters, right?
How To Work With This Type Of Person
The key to working with this person is…..expectation (both yours and theirs). This person absolutely has skills and knowledge that the project needs – it simply won’t get done without the supervisor/engineer/etc. doing their part. Here’s how to get the most out of the experts:
- Give this person all of the information they need, whether that be a budget, plans, specifications or any other requirements. Keep them informed early, so they have some rails they know they need to stay within from the get-go. Make sure the Superintendent knows the lumber that will be required. They might still deviate, but you’re eliminating lack of information as a cause. Information is a bridge between different personalities
- Give them “why”. Let them know why you want things done the way you’re asking. Treat the expert like an expert – experts are really good at making decisions based around the card they’re dealt. In this case, your cards are their cards. The fabricator will package the materials the way you want, because they now understand that you have limited resources to manage the materials, and you need to have it packed a specific way to coordinate the installation with others onsite. The engineer will design the lumber shoring system the way you ask, because they know you have a limited budget and simply won’t be able to accept anything beyond (so long as it’s safe).
Personality #3: The Sky Is Falling
Everything is a problem. The glass is half empty. There’s not enough time, not enough resources, the design is bad. Everything is late. What will we do if _____ happens? If ______ doesn’t happen by _______, there’s no way the goal will be reached. Everything is an emergency that needs to be discussed NOW. What if????
Managing this type of person is frustrating. It’s like their worry or negativity is contagious. You feel the weight slowly piling on your own shoulders when listening to their ramblings. Everyone has stresses to deal with on a project. A stress-free project, as far as I know, is like a unicorn. It doesn’t exist, but we all still want to believe in them. Some of their concerns will be legitimate, but many others are blown way out of proportion and they just need to learn to relax. Here are a few signs you’ve got a Chicken Little involved with the project.
Characteristics Or Tendencies To Watch For:
- Running around. Often reacting, which is the opposite of planning. This person is always so BUSY. Flying from one thing to the next. Every conversation is laced with stress. Emails are constantly flying, group texts dinging away in your phone while you’re trying to do whatever else. “We’ve got a problem here!”
- Close to snapping. I don’t mean in some actual dangerous way, but that could of course happen in some tiny percentage of situations. Their emotions are involved in every exchange. They’re always one call, problem, or incident away from quitting. Their stress gets the better them when dealing with co-workers.
- Fear-mongering. Spreading bad vibes to others. Openly talking about how the project is going badly, pointing out problems in everything they see. Generally just being a negative influence.
Inside The Minds Of Different Personalities: Why Do They Act This Way?
- Anxiety: legitimate anxiety. The root cause of anxiety is actually survival-based. This is a feeling from a cocktail of chemicals in our brains that are released when a threat is near. In 2019, this is often not required, but still a real feeling. Some people’s brains naturally pour them an extra strong cocktail for every little ‘threat’. Those with different personalities may not understand.
- Perfectionism: this person has a clear picture of what they THINK a successful project will look like. Everything along the way should happen in a certain time, in a certain order, with the perfect amount of information being available at the most opportune time. How many projects have you been on that go like this? I count zero on my end. They just can’t let go of the unicorn, even though you don’t need the unicorn to exist for everything to turn out fine. This mentality can also come from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
- Experience: this person could have been involved in bad situations in the past that stemmed from things not going to plan. maybe they had an overbearing parent who snapped at every little thing? Maybe they worked at a company that crashed and burned due to not being prepared. Conversely, maybe they worked in a great environment, or under a great boss before, and they have high expectations.
How To Work With This Type Of Person
The key to working with the person is…..routine. For whatever reason, they have trouble with unknowns. To some degree, everyone must become comfortable not having all the answers immediately. But in project management, planning is a friend to us all, even when the sky is falling.
- Have a regularly scheduled meeting with this person. While this should be a standard practice for any type of team, this person will really shine when they have a calm mind. Let them voice their concerns to you when this scheduled meeting happens. Encourage them to bring any problems they have to the table during that time.
- Know exactly what it is they will be working on. This can be planned as well as reviewed during meetings. This includes prioritizing. When you know what they need to be working on and when, you can check in as necessary. You know they shouldn’t be running around like a crazy person, because you already planned out what they should be doing with them! This will boost their confidence in you, too.
- Maintain a healthy boundary. At this stage you’re meeting regularly, they know what needs to be done, and they know when each item is needed by. You can express to them that their role is important, and you want to give them attention, but you have a million other things to do. That way you aren’t stressing about missing a call/text/email every 30 minutes. You can only do so much. This includes letting them know in private that they’re causing the team to be stressed! Constructively, of course.
Personality #4: The Alpha / Type A
When Marlon Brando’s character in The Wild One is asked “what are you rebelling against?”, he replies, “what have you got?”
Some people don’t want to be managed. Others need to be recognized. Some need to be the smartest/toughest/whatever person in the room at all times. And they aren’t afraid to challenge anyone who stands in the way.
The Alpha is tough to manage when mishandled. Often times, this personality type is a manager of some kind themselves. They’ll bluntly disagree with you during a meeting. They’ll ask pointed questions. They may get aggressive, standoffish or even insult people. They need to respect a leader before they follow them, yet they also need to feel like they’re in control of themselves, at minimum. A strange combination for anyone to deal with. As project managers, we need to give them both.
Characteristics Or Tendencies To Watch For:
- Opinionated: As stated above, they strongly voice their opinion, even if it blatantly contradicts someone else. They’ll just say “no.” rather than explain their reasoning.
- Displays of power: This could be longer-than-usual eye contact, an overly aggressive handshake, or other body language indicators that signify status, authority, etc.
- Aggression: Yelling, swearing, insulting. In construction this happens so often it’s crazy, but there’s normal levels, and then overboard levels to this.
Inside The Minds Of Different Personalities: Why Do They Act This Way?
- It’s learned: Some people just grow up in an environment where aggressive, assertive behavior is normal. Maybe they had an overbearing parent or two who resolved everything through conflict, or they are from a rough neighborhood where they dealt with different personalities from a young age. They challenge until they get resistance or are out-powered.
- Their ego: Some people’s egos steer their every thought. Everything is a competition, a race, a contest of willpower. Their status is who they are in a nutshell. They need to be the best, and be praised as the best.
- Insecurity: It could be that they’re overcompensating for a weakness they have, or think they have. Their offense in our eyes is actually a defense in theirs.
- Type A Personality: Having a “Type A” personality includes being on time, being ambitious and performing well in everything. It could be that they’re highly regulated, with high expectations of themselves and others.
How To Work With This Type Of Person
The key to working with this type of person is….balance. Letting them know you aren’t someone to be messed with, but at the same time, you respect this person, their skills and what they offer the team. Here are a few tips:
- Do NOT take any crap. If this person cuts you off, let them know you aren’t finished. Should they insult you or someone else, let them know they’re being unprofessional, and it will not be tolerated going forwards. When they put up resistance to something you’re asking them to do, let them know that you’re the project manager, and the buck stops with you. This is of course done is a respectful and contained way on your end. The flip side of the coin is you looking weak, which loses you respect with this person and everyone around you. Better to be seen as the hard-ass rather than the nice person in this scenario when you can only be one.
- Side note: in my opinion, this is not spoken of enough in project management education. It’s more of a ‘streetwise’ skill to have. You can’t be bullied or pushed around as a P.M. I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is. The good news – MOST people struggle with this in the beginning, even if they don’t show it. I certainly did. Hang tough in these moments for optimum success.
- Give them something to be in charge of. Let everyone know that this person is in charge of ________. Make sure it is known to the team, and that there are rules to be determined by you and this person. Ask them what they think should be done and how. This will give them a sense of importance and responsibility. It goes without saying that you’re the only one who can ultimately veto this person when the chips are down, but let them know they are important.
- Humor. A lot of times this person is much more normal than they let on. A hard demeanor is often a shield, and joking with this person will not only help them bring their guard down a little, but they’ll see you as someone on their side, not someone to compete with.
Personality #5: Slide The Work Under The Door
They could be a good person, funny, competent and punctual, but they just want to be left alone most of the time. This can range from wanting headphones in to listen to music while working, or shutting their office door for half the day. Other times, they may be a person who is shy, antisocial or straight up not a people person.
Not much you can do about that. Forcing this person to be more open will make them more resistant in the future. Telling them to collaborate with people won’t help much either….
Characteristics Or Tendencies To Watch For:
- Quiet: In meetings, do they contribute? Are they paying attention? If the answer is no, they could just be biding their time until they can get back to work.
- Doors Closed, Etc: They generally shut themselves out from others when doing their work.
- Showing Up & Leaving Right On Time: Not true for all, of course. But this could mean that they’re prioritizing their personal life outside of work and are truly off the clock mentally as well as literally when not at work.
- Interest In Back-End Tasks: They’ll write a twenty page report or fill out spreadsheets for hours, but ask them to call a client, and it’s like you asked for the Great Wall of China on your desk by the end of the day.
Inside The Minds Of Different Personalities: Why Do They Act This Way?
- Introverted: People are born this way as far as I can tell. In the most basic terms, this person is calmest and feels the most recharged after spending time alone. Time with others is draining, which can be hard to understand for those with different personalities.
- Still waters run deep: This person could be extremely intelligent, and has so much going on in their head that they have no interest in others – they’ve got enough going on already!
- They “have a life”: This could be a strong sense of family, a passion outside of work, or other interests they can about. Work may simply be a means to earn a check, maybe even for a short time. They simply want to show up, work and leave.
How To Work With This Type Of Person
The key to working with this type of person is….space. Let them be alone for a good amount of the day. Let them know you’re OK with them working this way, so long as you routinely check in with them and they’re meeting deadlines. The way to get the least out of this person is to mess up their schedule, keep them away from their work and constantly interrupt them. A couple of tips:
- Keep them out of unnecessary meetings, and minimize their time in them if they’re required. Not all meetings, of course. But if there’s a team brainstorming meeting on a specific project, does this paperwork specialist need to be there? If yes, the whole time? Let them do what they do best.
- Let them have their physical space, too. If it means closing their door to focus, so be it. These types of people like their space and feel best/most productive in their space.
- Regulate how others communicate with this person about actual work. For example, if this person is an administrator who fills out spreadsheets most of the time, figure out a protocol with the rest of the team on giving this person work to do. If this person is in charge of producing a weekly report based on data, others must submit this information to them by Wednesday, so they can get produce the report by Monday.
It’s A Jungle Out There…
People work on projects, and project managers get projects done. Therefore, all PMs must deal with people. With so many different personalities out there, it can be tough to know how to act in certain situations, get certain results and keep the team moving in the right direction.
As a project manager, your results will multiply once you learn how to get people to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. Through knowing how to implement regulation, communicate expectation, establish a routine, strike a balance with team members and give everyone their space, you’ll keep the grey out of your hair (for now, anyway), the team will be happy/functional and the project will flourish!
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